I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
