for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have post one night stand depression
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