Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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