two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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