Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it because I queefed?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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