we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Boobs are out for the taking
My boob is missing a layer of skin
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
