is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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