You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
