why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
