just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
