just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
