There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
