Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
