the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There r osticjed everywhere
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
