Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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