There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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