Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize