Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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