To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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