I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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