Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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