he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
