I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
