What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girls should come with a carfax report
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
