no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
