Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
