I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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