walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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