Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
