So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
