I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
