As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize