I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
