How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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