Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
