you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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