Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
