on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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