Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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