wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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