We're facebook friends in real life
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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