so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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