Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
