Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
