You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We were destined to go to rehab together
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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