I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
