it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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