So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
