i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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