Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
