I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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