Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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