are you still at the devil's house?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
