Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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