Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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