we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
